|The fleeting Milanese Spring|
Mushy choice (to listen to):: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sovVYInjHjw
March has been a particularly challenging month. I have been forced to ask questions, reevaluate certain things and face up to others. Could the the tower of Babel principle be extended to nationalities too? I often feel like all the really good people, that is to say the dreamers, should be together. Were they once? Did someone back in 100 BC commit a crime so offensive to the gods that this dream world was shattered and these dreamers were dispersed and disconnected from one another? I have some of the best friends imaginable, but they are all in different countries. They are interesting people, creative, curious about the world, tolerant, profound and yet at the same time fun to be around. Where are these people when I need them? For the most part, they are not here, and geographical distance makes me sad. Goodbyes do too. I have had my fair share in the last few years, though a really high proportion have occurred in the last year. Airports, train stations and bus stops as highly emotional places for me. I often choose to avoid them when people are going rather than arriving.
Coming to Milan hasn't been easy. I was born in a small city, Bath, lived most of my life in a small seaside town in Dorset on the Jurassic coast, and for the last few years have spent my time between Edinburgh and the highlands, where my parents (and cats) now reside. I am used to green grass, lazy days with cats, cooking produce straight from the garden and walking out of my door and seeing hills or castles. I often ask Italians whether they like Milan, the answer often conveys that there is a lot of things to do, it's a good place to work/study, but overall they would rather live elsewhere. I remember neorealist films depicting the pianura padana and Milan as a realm of ennui and stress, the dark urban crevice between two beautiful mountain ranges.The town has a lot in common with Berlin, in that it was largely destroyed during the second world war and then rebuilt in the 50s and 60s. This means that in pretty much every street there is a great mix between old and new. I would argue however that whilst Berlin has renewed its image and recreated an extremely individual identity for itself, Milan is kind of soulless. There are loads of things to do here, people are always busy, but they are here for money or capitalistic reasons like shopping, not because it's their ideal city. Most dreamers have a constant desire to move away or visit the mountains during the weekend....
My experience of Milan is also shaped by the fact that most of my recent process of "discovering" places is actually a "revisiting" process. I knew this city pretty well already, I have been here many times before, but under different circumstances. Seeing the same places from a slightly different perspective has been surreal and at times sad, though I guess it's a part of growing up.
I have found some areas of Milan which are truly beautiful, for example the area in which I work, Montenero near Porta Romana, Brera and Washington are calm areas with plenty of trees and parks to distract you from the hectic city life. Being a massive city and cultural melting pot, Milan does offer some of the things which I love about London too. There are endless opportunities: I have recently taken up climbing and there are numerous climbing halls with great facilities, I have found a yoga hall which specialises in MY type of yoga (ashtanga), I have a massive choice of swimming pools, theatres and cinemas, I can always find what I am looking for, you can try food from anywhere on the globe, there are three airports and there's a massive train network, meaning I can travel anywhere. As far as universities and jobs go, the university here is relatively well-organized, the building is beautiful, and upon matriculating I didn't face much bureaucracy. I have found finding a job as an English teacher extremely easy (I may post about the advantages of being a traveling English mother tongue in the near future), and a relatively enjoyable way of earning money.
My linguistic missions are never fading. I must confess that after just 3 years of study, I feel extremely content with my level of Italian. Whilst I may still struggle with Medieval texts, I can cruise through contemporary works. More importantly, I can dream, think and reason with the language without giving it a second thought. It's now a part of me. I am maintaining my French with Duolingo and le Monde. In all honesty I have neglected Chinese lately, feeling more of an impetus to brush up on my basic Japanese in order to get by this summer. I am studying German as an outside course, which is proving to be really enjoyable, and the pace is satisfying fast.
Despite my obvious criticisms with regards to Milan, I have found some solace in climbing. It offers a refuge in the city and an escape from the city, and an opportunity to get up close to nature and interact with it. I am finally coming out of hibernation and doing some exercise, also in the form of running and swimming. I have found two great climbing companions/teachers who have taught me the ropes and are pushing me every time we climb together.
|Climbing in Valle d'Aosta|
Milan is not my favourite city in the world, but it has taught me that I am not a city-for-the-sake-of-it kind of person. I love nature, and need some kind of balance between nature and an urban environment. It is also super important for me to find some "personality" in a city, something which I can identify with and feel a part of.
I am still a long way from knowing where I will "end up" one day, though for the meanwhile I can say that I really miss Edinburgh. Aside from the bitter cold and strong winds, it really is a perfect city. It's beautiful, cultural, full of green spaces, eclectic, eccentric, alternative, independent, international... There is something for the adventurous and something for those who want a cosy place to have some tea and cake. I am pretty ready to go back for my final (and stress-filled year). But first, three more months here. Let's do this...